the power of God - in forgiveness

The title to this entry is so significant to me right now. In my life right now, I am living proof of God's power in forgiveness. It was almost two years ago that something drastic happened in my life. Something that hurt me deeply - hurt me to the core. It was something that I never thought I would "get over." And now that I look back, I can see how, for the first six months or so, I didn't even try to get over it all. I didn't even try to heal. I just tried to convince myself that all was well, and that I had moved on. I was only kidding myself. Well actually, I think I fooled a few people while I was at it. I was pretty good at the whole "acting like everything was ok" thing.

But, in going through what I have gone through these last two years. In experiencing what I have these last two years. In having to confront what I have had to these last two years. In coming face to face with my Creator and saying, "I'm broken and I can't do it or fix it." In finally laying it all aside and just looking to my Lord. It was only there that I found my whole self in Christ. It was only then that I found forgiveness.

God gave me forgiveness. He gave me a new love for the people that hurt me. He gave me a new heart for the people that hurt me. He gave me a new attitude and a new mind for the people that hurt me. And for once I'm not faking it. I'm not faking my smiles around them. I'm not faking my laughter. I'm not faking the hugs that I give them. I'm not faking anything. And it brings me to tears that God has finally lead me to this place.

I don't understand how people who don't know Christ and the power of His forgiveness live! How can someone live with bitter hurt and anger for so long and not even desire to get rid of it? All I wanted to do was get rid of it, but time is needed in healing. And I understand that. And I understand the reasons behind a lot of what went on these last two years. And I thank God for this place. This wonderful place of forgiveness.

To the people that hurt me: I love you dearly. And I praise our Lord that He has changed my heart, and that He has given us a chance to reconcile all that went wrong and went sour. Our Lord's plans are bigger and better than our own. And He alone knows what is right. Thank you for never holding it against me that I had as much hurt as I did. Or at least thank you for not letting me know that you held it against me. Whichever...thank you.

Lord, You are beautiful! And You are glorious! And Lord, You deserve all of the praise! Always!

Peace -
~Jenna