the first -- of many

Welcome to my new blog...xanga is over and done with.......but anyway....


I'm sitting here at my desk at Geneva pondering what exactly it means to be still. I'm wearing a shirt that says, "be still...and know." But, how can one be still? This world is so filled with noise, I honestly can't think of a place where I can go and be still and quiet before God. And in being still, how can we really focus? I have the hardest time clearing my mind of thoughts, song lyrics, funny things my roommates have said, and actually focusing on one thing. I've talked with people and they've told me that what they do is take hold of a thought, and dismiss it. But, how exactly do you do that? I can't just grab a thought with my hand and throw it out of my mind.

As much as I try to sit quietly before the Lord, I find myself sitting very loudly before the Lord instead. This is so frustrating to me. I feel like the only time I can completely focus on God is when I'm praying and crying out to Him, or when I'm in His Word. And then, because of this, I feel like I'm limiting when I can hear His voice. This isn't encouraging to me. As I move into this period of my life where I am trying to discern God's call on my life and where He wants me to work and what exactly He wants me to do, I feel like I'm going to misinterpret God. And that is scary. Now, granted, when I feel like this, the quote that often comes to mind is Augustine saying, "Love God, do what you want." If I am loving God with all that I am and all that I have, His heart will be my heart and I will know what He wants because it will be what I want. But what if I'm not loving Him with every part of me?

These are the things that I've been wrestling with. God let You wisdom come.

Prayer Requests:
- My roommate Leanne - some guy dropped her on her back...she's in serious pain
- Wisdom in everythin
- My job search - I received a phone call from a church in Dallas that wants me to pursue the application process...my heart is soaring!
- My last 2 months at Geneva

Peace all....

~Jenna