God - i don't understand You - but i trust You

So, today I got a call from Gil, the youth minister in Alabama. He told me before I left Alabama that he would call me friday so that we could talk about my visit and such. So, I was completely excited to get to talk with him! Anyway, he called me and was telling me how great it was to have me go and check out the church and how impressed he was with all that I had to offer The Advent. But...then he told me that the girl that was going to be leaving the ministry decided, yesterday, to stay. This means that there is no longer a need for a new assistant...and no longer a need for me to be in Alabama. He felt awful telling me all of this...and kept assuring me that it wasn't just some line...he meant it with all of his heart. He told me that when we were having lunch together on wednesday that he was a breath away from hiring me but for some reason he felt like he should wait.

So, the bottom line is, I didn't get the job in Alabama because there is no longer a job to be had. And honestly, it feels like I got dumped. That's what this whole situation feels like for me. And that's not fun. I never would have connected it to that except that when Gil and I were talking, he was apologizing for the whole thing and how I opened myself up and made myself vulnerable to them. And he's right. That's what this whole process was for me.

I emailed back the Vicar/Priest at the church in England. He had emailed me when I was in Alabama. So, I just need to trust the Lord and all that He has for me.

My song of the day, now that all of this has happened, is Jeremy Camp's "Walk by Faith". I share it with you:

Walk By Faith
Will I believe You when You say
Your hand will guide my every way?
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day?

I will walk by faith even when I cannot see
Because this broken road prepares Your will for me

Help me to rid my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With one breath You made me new
Your grace covers all I do

I will walk by faith even when I cannot see
Because this broken road prepares Your will for me

Well I'm broken, but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken pouring Your words of grace

Hallelujah.

Prayer Requests:
* God's will to be done in my life - that I would let Him guide me
* That I wouldn't be so bummed about Alabama
* Job
* My Leanne - her back
* My Cousin Mary - all the stress in her life

Lord, I give You my heart, I give You my soul, I live for You alone
Every breath that I take, every moment I'm awake, Have Your way in me
I love you Lord. You are beautiful and glorious.

peace all,
~Jenna